We all experience stress in our lives from time to time particularly in the world we live in and how busy everybody’s lives are and the pace in which we operate from every day.
So it’s important to watch and manage our stress levels. I have listed below some useful tips for this
1. Physical exercise – Helps to release the chemicals called endorphins which in turn trigger positive feelings in the body.
2. Abdominal Breathing Technique - How it’s done - With one hand on the chest and the other on the belly, take a deep breath in through the nose, ensuring the diaphragm (not the chest) inflates with enough air to create a stretch in the lungs. 6 to 10 deep, slow breaths per minute for 10 minutes each day
3. Worry Diary – Allow yourself to write everything down that is worrying or causing you stress, then look at these worries. If you keep this diary daily it’s a way of monitoring your thoughts and in turn recognising when we are becoming stressed and what situations may be causing you stress
4. Manage your time – use a diary, get organised the night before if you know you have a busy day the next day. Accept it’s not possible to do everything and prioritise tasks
5. Sleep More – Get the amount of sleep you know that you need
6. Try yoga or meditation
7. Talk to someone - often sharing your concerns or telling somebody how you feel can be helpful
8. Avoid Caffeine - swap for herbal teas, drink plenty of water and keep yourself hydrated as this helps the body to manage stress better
9. Say NO – Its ok to say no and recognise you can’t do everything
10. Take time out – Take time out for yourself to do the things you like to do
Generally women who have experienced a miscarriage are cared for physically by caregivers, family, etc. However quite often women’s emotional needs aren’t given enough consideration and they may not receive follow up emotional care that they may need.
With loss/ bereavement there is no one size fits all treatment, there is however a grieving process and associated stages. Loss associated with miscarriage is a very individual experience and it can be a huge loss for women regardless of how many weeks pregnant.
Often from the moment a women finds out she is pregnant she may start planning the baby’s future, so many hopes and dreams can be shattered when a pregnancy ends in miscarriage
Approximately one in every five pregnancies will end in miscarriage yet this traumatic event is rarely discussed in public. Generally there appears to be a lack of understanding around bereavement associated with miscarriage and subsequently Maternal Mental health is stigmatised.
The emotional experience that comes with miscarriage is not proportional to the length of the pregnancy. General public awareness around bereavement associated with miscarriage needs to be increased.
How to help someone who has experienced a miscarriage
If you can be available and be willing to listen. Don’t be afraid to talk to the mother about the baby and the feelings of loss. Allow the person to talk about the baby they have lost if they wish to and as often as they need to. Remember the loss of their baby needs to be acknowledged.
Just remember as with any form of bereavement there is no time limit on the grieving process.
How can counselling Help
Bereavement Counselling can be about providing a safe, supportive space for a person to share their experience of loss. And gain support in how to move forward in life after loss
Before becoming a mother very often you may have an idea of how you think it is going to be. How you will be as a mother and how your children will be. But generally the reality is very different. So where does this leave us? Many mothers will struggle with being vulnerable, so how do we redefine our identity with far less sleep and a sense of responsibility you have never known?
Confusion, uncertainty around decisions we are making, self-doubt, guilt a long with a whole host of other emotions are very common. You might find yourself questioning your new life, what am I supposed to be doing. Do I return to work, can I be a stay at home mum? Often our identity defines our self-worth and as a result it’s common to feel lost. Remember becoming a mother is a major life change.
Some women report feeling invisible, they have changed on so many levels often they may not recognise themselves. Do you feel like you are floating between two worlds your old life which has changed dramatically and this new life that you might feel a little unsure about or it’s not familiar to you?
Achievements or goals you may set for yourself now need to be planned around children, time is precious and not so readily available to you anymore. Do you have concerns around your career and how this may change for you? How has your relationship changed with your partner? Many women report feeling less equal or less connected to their partner
Can you consider what sort of identity you want and can this be a way to redeem your identity?
Some tips below to help you do this
1) Connect back in with yourself. You can do this by spending time alone with yourself doing something that you enjoy and it’s not for anybody else.
2) Self- Care, it’s so important in creating a strong sense of self otherwise we can end up feeling resentful and lacking in confidence. The more we give to ourselves the more the family will benefit.
3) If you are a stay at home mum women may feel isolation and loneliness this can have a strong link to our identity. Perhaps you feel like you don’t have a lot in common with your old friends, so finding new friends in the same situation can really help
4) Sharing your insecurities with your partner, letting insecurities fester can create conflict in your relationship.
5) Have time out with your partner create the space and time for you both to go out and enjoy each other’s company
6) Gratitude Diary list what’s important for you & what you are grateful for
7) Give yourself permission to have time for yourself
How can Counselling Help
Counselling & Psychotherapy can help you improve your emotional and physical well-being, help enhance your ability to engage in interpersonal relationships and empower you with useful tools, which will help you problem solve.
Mindbodywellness Holistic Services • North Dublin • Tel: (086-3741970) • Email: Francesbuckley63@gmail.com